Life as a dad during a pandemic

From being hospitalised with COVID-19 for two months to home schooling two small children, the last year certainly hasn’t been an easy one for Izet. We spoke to him about how he learnt to cope with stressful situations with the help of St Vincent’s Family Project and what life has been like as a father during the pandemic.

What were the main challenges for you over the past year and throughout the pandemic?

It was a very hard, horrible time for us. I became ill with COVID-19 this year and was in hospital for two months, which put a lot of stress on the family.

When the first lockdown started we were very scared and for the first two months we did not let the children out. We tried to do activities together, such as following the exercise workouts by Joe Wicks on TV, which helped. But it was stressful and my own patience was not good and my son particularly was stressed. My wife and younger daughter were much more patient than us. When my son was not nice to his sister I would get angry and shout, which was not good.

Things were better when my son could be at school, but being in lockdown was hard. Home schooling was very challenging for us. It was made easier because I was working; having four people in a small flat all of the time is very difficult.

Were there any positives that came out of the year?

Although we had done a parenting course a few years ago, my wife and I did the Positive Parenting Programme again at St. Vincent’s Family Project to help us through the period. It was really good for me to help me deal with frustrations without shouting. I also found it helpful to use the sessions to talk to the group. I am happy to be open, although some people found it harder to do that.

We did manage to get out of the country for a time, which helped relieve the pressure, but coming back home just made it difficult again.

We are now more united as a family because of the experience and we would be able to cope better if this, or something like this, happened again. I think we are better at learning to accept the situation we are in.

How are things now?

My health is much better and my children don’t worry as much. When I was constantly coughing, my daughter would say, “please don’t die”. As a family we are stronger, but we want to go back to our old life and never want to experience this fear again.

We love St. Vincent’s Family Project and my daughter had been asking when she can “go back to school” - meaning the Family Space. For us it has been like a school because we have learnt so much. 

What will you be doing on Father’s Day?

It is my son’s birthday this weekend also, so my wife and I are planning this at the moment. The weather has got worse, but we hope at least to be able to get out this weekend!